Monday, May 16, 2011

The Life I Never (Always) Wanted

I never wanted this. I cannot stress that enough. If you told me five years ago, that I would end up a wife, a stay at home mother of two, without a Facebook page, and with a stand mixer on my counter... I probably would have dumped my drink on you. I'm guessing I would have had a drink in my hand. Five years ago, that was pretty much a given.

Somehow, in spite of myself, I met a wonderful man. We got married. We had a baby girl. Two years later, we had a baby boy. Five days after he was born, my little girl started preschool. THAT is when it happened. The baking. The sickness. Maybe it was some sort of post-partum psychotic break? (I'll have to see if there's a related article on wikipedia.)

I developed a constant need to feel like well, I may not be the best mother in the world, but I've got to at least be better than someone. So what did I do? I started baking. I thought if my kid showed up at school with the prettiest cupcakes, the other moms would know that when it comes to motherhood, I was a force to be reckoned with. And maybe -- on some level -- my daughter would know it, too.

It's gross. Don't think I don't know it.

However, when I reflect back on that life I led 5 years ago... I know I'm exactly where I need to be. And want to be. Most of the time. I'll have to get into the details of my former life in another post. That said, I think this will be a place for reflections, for sarcasm, and for recipes. Hope you enjoy it.

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